Tag: blogger

How You Love

On By janewrites2020In UncategorizedLeave a comment

I think as a growing mentor and activist to the feminist community, I need to touch down on a few of many topics. Today I want to discuss healthy relationships. I read an article that suggested to know your value, standards and worth then you need to enter an unhealthy relationship where someone treats you like “shit.” The author literally and seriously suggested dating an abusive partner so you can appreciate being treated well when you move on.

How can someone honestly suggest to any other human that they should enter a relationship with someone who is toxic and dangerous? The risks involved are mind-blowing. A person in such a relationship could experience mental, physical and emotional abuse.

If you date someone who tells you that you aren’t good enough or that no one wants you, you could start to believe it. You would feel worthless and unworthy. The author suggests that you fall in love with a person such as described,  then get your heart broken. Then you’ll heal and find sone one who treats you well. 

Um.. no. Do NOT put yourself through that abuse. It is possible to lay out standards of what you deserve and you will find someone worthy. I promise. 

Do not degrade yourself. Love yourself.

-Jane 

Our Love Story is My Favorite

On By janewrites2020In Uncategorized2 Comments

I know I’ve never fully told the story of Jack and I’s first kiss. I know I gave a gist of it, and it was really vague. Well, our one year anniversary is coming soon and I move back to school on Sunday so, I figured I would write this down for you. The night I met Jack, I was having a little pizza party with my RA and two friends. My sister left campus for the weekend and my roommate at the time did as well. Before the pizza party, however, I went to dump my trash out, and across from the trash shoot was a dorm room with the door open. Inside the room was a man I was familiar with. Derek, was Jack’s roommate, and he was “familiar” with my roommate.

I stood in the doorway and placed my trash can on the floor as I spoke to Derek, in a conversation in which his roommate Jack, a stranger at the time, chimed in; on my side of course. However, when Derek became homophobic and questioned my sexuality, I left in a hurry, of course leaving behind my trash can. I should also note, this occurred on Friday, of Labor Day weekend, and Derek was going home for the 3 day weekend.

Anyways, I storm out, angry. Turns out that when this entire blowup happened, Jack got the idea that I was a lesbian. Anyways. I go to my RA’s room, have my pizza party and go back to my room to throw something away; only to see that I don’t have my trash can. So I swallow my pride, and grimace the entire way down the hall to go get my trash can. I knock on the door, expecting Derek to answer, when to my surprise, Jack does. He says

“Oh, you must be here for this.” He held out my trash can and I blush slightly and work up the nerve to ask if I can come in and hang out. He invites me in and we sit close together, watching things on the computer together and getting to know one another. We moved from his desk to his bed, as I sat beside him and we spoke more. Me about my depression, him about his hard life. And he said something that has since slipped from my mind, and it was so sweet. I leaned in to kiss his cheek, and he turned his head. Our lips connected, and I pulled away and gasped. But, I leaned in and kissed him again, and then I hid my face in his chest. We stayed frozen for what seemed like an eternity and then he moved to stand up. He drank some water and said we will see where it goes.

By this time, it’s 3 in the morning, and he says he’s going to bed. I decide I am too, and I moved over and slept in his bed with him. There was a comfortable silence as we laid together, and I slowly reached my way up to his lips so I could kiss him in the dark. When I finished, I cuddled close to him and we drifted off to sleep.

We’ve been together ever since.

-Jane

Jane vs. Nature

On By janewrites2020In UncategorizedLeave a comment

Sorry I have been MIA, summer has started, and been started for about a month, but I’ve been working, and I am currently at a feminist retreat. That’s right, I’m in the middle of the fucking woods with 19 other girls, roughly my age and we are educating ourselves on important female issues.

This retreat has been interesting to say the least, but for the most part I am enjoying it. I’m in a bad mood however, so I’m a little crabby at the moment. I sprained my ankle yesterday so I’ve been in some pain and one of the girls here struck me on a nerve. We are discussing sexual assault, and if you remember, I was sexually assaulted for a few years when I was younger. However this one girl insists on leaving the room when we discuss it because it upsets her. Granted I don’t know if she’s ever been assaulted; however I feel like if you run from the problem, you’re not going to contribute to ending it.

I am internally frustrated to the point that I could fucking scream. Every girl attending here seems to think that she is an expert feminist, one said listening to Beyonce is cultural appropriation and I literally just walked away from her. Like I can’t fucking believe some of the things that have been said and done here. Don’t get me wrong I guess I am a feminist, and I feel that I belong, but some of these girls have such a misconstrued idea and I can’t get a fucking moment alone. They are all shoved up my ass because I have a sprained ankle. Then two girls keep making lovey dovey eyes at each other and it’s like GAHHH.

I don’t know if I’m angsty, or hangry, but I have no idea. And I really don’t want to be bothered with anything and these ladies won’t leave me alone.

-Jane