A grudge, defined by Oxford Language, is a noun: a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.

I think that a grudge and a feeling of regret often go hand-in-hand, and it could be hard to distinguish from one another. I know a lot of the things I think I have a grudge about are actually just feelings of regret. I just don’t know that I have it in me to hold on to anger for long enough to just ruminate on it. When I was younger, I always thought that moving on from anything that has caused me great distress or turmoil, which many things have, would make me a pushover, that it made me spineless, like I didn’t advocate for myself.

As I have grown older and possibly wiser, I realize that letting go or making peace with things that have hurt me dramatically protects my sanity, peace, and inner voice. I find that sitting with such incidents and learning from them allows me to grow as a person. Eventually, I can reflect on those moments in my life, take the lessons I have learned from them, and apply them to situations in the future.

Human emotions are complex, exhausting, and normal. I think they are an ever-evolving entity and recognizing events that make us feel so intensely are so important as they teach us how to navigate ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong. I can be petty towards people who I feel have slighted me, but for a very short period, I am not willing to focus all my energy, harmful or not, on something so minute in comparison to the grand scheme of things.

If you can let it go, give it a try.

-Jane